We are always worried about something that might not happen, or even something that might. But in the midst of this anxiety, we often forget a crucial distinction: we must focus on the probability of an event occurring, rather than the mere possibility.
Most importantly, we worry about things we cannot control—things far beyond our reach. If a situation is within our capabilities, we can take action, manage the outcome, and find peace of mind. For the things we can control, we simply need the confidence to act. But for the things we cannot control, do we really need to worry about them? The answer is a resounding “No.” We cannot control these external forces, nor can we predict exactly what will happen next.
When we worry endlessly, we lose our energy and our confidence. The things we fear become the nightmares of our waking lives, and we can’t even rest when nothing bad actually happens. Worrying yields no benefits; it is simply an exhausting way to live. But why do we do it, and what is the true cost? Science and psychology offer profound answers to why we trap ourselves in this cycle.
The Illusion of Control: Locus of Control Theory
The way we perceive our ability to influence our lives is known in psychology as our Locus of Control.
People with an internal locus of control believe their own actions and abilities primarily dictate their life outcomes. They focus their energy on what they can actively manage. Conversely, people with an external locus of control believe their lives are driven by external factors like fate, luck, or other people.
Research shows a powerful connection between our locus of control and our mental health. A nine-year longitudinal study involving over 2,000 subjects found that having a more external locus of control actively predicts higher severity of anxiety and depression. When we fixate on the uncontrollable, we reinforce an external locus of control, leaving us feeling helpless. To break the cycle of worry, we must consciously shift our focus back to our internal locus of control—the immediate actions and preparations we can execute.
Why We Worry: Cognitive Avoidance Theory
If worrying is so exhausting, why does our brain insist on doing it?
According to renowned psychologist Thomas Borkovec and his Cognitive Avoidance Theory, worrying is actually a misguided coping mechanism. Borkovec’s research describes worry as an attempt to engage in mental problem-solving for an issue whose outcome is uncertain but potentially negative.
When we are confronted with the fear of the unknown, worrying acts as a form of “cognitive avoidance”. Borkovec theorized that people worry because they subconscious believe: “If I can anticipate all of the possible negative outcomes that might befall me, I may be in a better position to cope”. Unfortunately, this creates a false sense of security. The worry itself becomes a self-reinforcing habit that actually maintains anxiety rather than resolving it. It tricks our brain into feeling productive when, in reality, we are just spinning our wheels in the mud of uncertainty.
The Physical Toll: Allostatic Load and Exhaustion
You noted in your original piece that worrying causes us to “lose our energy” and makes life “exhausting.” This isn’t just a metaphor; it is a scientifically documented physiological phenomenon known as Allostatic Load.
Allostasis is the process by which our body maintains stability by releasing stress hormones (like cortisol) to deal with challenges. However, when we constantly worry about uncontrollable things, we keep our stress responses permanently switched on. This chronic wear and tear on the body and brain is called allostatic overload.
The biological cost of allostatic load is severe. Chronic stress and worry deplete our physical energy, leading to deep fatigue. Furthermore, animal studies have shown that allostatic overload resulting from chronic stress actually causes physical atrophy in the brain regions responsible for memory and executive function, while enlarging the amygdala, the brain’s fear center. This explains why chronic worriers often feel physically drained, foggy-headed, and increasingly prone to panic over time.
Letting Go of the Uncontrollable
Ultimately, worrying about what we cannot control is not a protective shield; it is a heavy burden that drains our mental and physical resources. By recognizing the limits of our locus of control, understanding that our brain is simply trying to avoid uncertainty, and protecting our bodies from the toxic effects of allostatic load, we can reclaim our peace. We can save our energy for the things that truly matter—the things we have the power to change.
References
- Borkovec, T. D. “Worry: a potentially valuable concept.” (Research on Cognitive Avoidance Theory).
- “Differential associations of locus of control with anxiety, depression and life-events: A five-wave, nine-year study.” Journal of Affective Disorders (2019).
- “Physiology and Neurobiology of Stress and Adaptation.” Physiological Reviews (2007). (Research on Allostatic Load and chronic stress).
- “Locus of Control and Mental Health: Human Variation…” (2024).
